Soon to be former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich

Uncomfortable.

By Scott R.
 
Hey Rod, fuck you.  I’m better than this schmuck.

1. I’m not blatantly corrupt.
2. I have not tainted Barack Obama in any way
3. I don’t try to sell jobs for money or favors
4. I don’t try to get my family members high-paying jobs in exchange for political appointments.
5. I’ve never been arrested.
6. I don’t try to strong arm newspapers.
7. I can do my job without expecting anything extra.
8. I’m not another in a long line of corrupt Illinois politicians.
9. My name is easy to pronounce.
10. I didn’t jeopardize the good name of the Democratic Party at a difficult period in history.

Someone You’re Better Than- Papa Smurf

By Scott R.

The Smurf balloon debuted in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade this year, and even though he was lord over the three-apple tall blue creatures, Papa Smurf was not chosen to represent his people. Here are five reasons that you’re better than the red-clad, bearded dictator.

1. You didn’t exist for 50 years with a cartoon that lasted more than 400 episodes before getting a balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, a parade that feature balloons from much newer creations like Dora the Explorer, Pikachu and SpongeBob SquarePants.
2. You don’t run a fascist community and make everyone call you papa.
3. You don’t live in a place with only one woman who, again, you make call you papa.
4. You’re not constantly on the run from goofy bald man in a tunic, which could double as a dress.
5. You don’t live in a world where humans either want to turn you to gold or eat you.

Ignorant, Racist Americans

The only person with any capacity for thought in this picture is the black kid on the poster

By Scott R.

Apparently, ever since Obama won the presidency, the racist backwoods folk of America have reverted to slavery days with their complete and utter hatred toward the new president elect.  Link

1. I don’t train my kids to say they want Obama to get assassinated.
2. I don’t run pools guessing when Obama will get killed.
3. I don’t hang effigies of black figures.
4. I don’t write racial epithets everywhere.
5. I don’t burn crosses.
6. I get my news from news sources and not from email forwards.
7. I’m not part of real America.
8. I’m a Jew.
9. Dukes of Hazzard is not a lifestyle choice for me.
10. I mess with Texas.