Pete Wentz

First ever guest blogger! This entry is brought to you by Adam White. he is the writer over at Reasons Why I Hate Girls. Thanks Adam!

Pete Wentz, bassist for Fall Out Boy is a scourge on the music scene. It is incredibly ironic that one of his biggest gripes of ’08 is the word douchebag. I guess it’s fitting because he is probably called one a lot, since it suits him so well.

1. I don’t go out of my way to give my child the most retarded name ever. Bronx Mowgli? Was Staten Island Baloo or Queens Kaa too run-of-the mill? Actually, Queens Kaa Wentz is quite a lovely name for a girl. Consider it a gift from me to you.
2. If Google image my name, my dick doesn’t pop up on the first page.
3. Most of my writing isn’t long winded excuses to be clever, or random snippets from movies. Examples:   

   Our Lawyer made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued
   Of All The Gin Joints In All The World
   Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends.
   I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy And All I got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me
   Gay Is Not a Synonym For Shitty
   I’m Like a Lawyer with the Way I’m Always Trying to Get You Off.

   We get it Pete, you really, really like to be long winded and show off how clever you are with movie references.

4. A bassist in a Pop-Punk band? A bassist?!  What a complex instrument to play in a difficult genre. At least Mark Hoppus had a reason to be a front-man of the band, he could sing. 
5. I’m not entirely androgynous with hordes of eye make up and girl jeans. 
6. If I was going to write a book, I wouldn’t steal the title from a Smiths song. Morrissey should seriously sue your ass, because I doubt he wants his song to be remotely associated with you.
7. I don’t talk on media outlets about anal sex. 
8. His Art Gallery is named Without You, I’m Just Me. Deep stuff.
9. My entire fan base isn’t teenage girls that want me.
10. I’ve never tried to kill myself by ODing on anxiety meds, and claim my life was saved by the song Hallelujah